stress

Holiday should be enjoy myself and be happy..right?but i don't..weekdays busy moving some sutffs each day to my new house at Tanglin Halt..sunday go to church MUST HAVE to listen to the aunties talk..they've been so busybody since they know about my baby and i..

They aren't talk bad things or insult us..but they are just making up lots of stories and seems to be "shooting" me all the time..

Let's say recent stuffs..YESTERDAY!!..we had corpus chriti in my church yesterday..when father was talking about SMS during mass..he said,"everyone always text i love you you love me but you never say to jesus..you forget about jesus.." and bla bla..then my mom look at me and said,"see!..everytime do the same thing.."..Actually i never do during mass..i always dreaming only..=v=..

But then because she said this..got a auntie came and told me,"you and him can be Friend but not too close as you are a girl and he's a boy..if you hold hand with him,he might think that you like him..so he might ask for hug..if you hug him..he might think you like him very much..then he might ask you for kiss..well..if you kiss him he will think that you are his girlfriend..so being friend of him should have a distance.." and bla bla..

That's very what the hell actually..no offence but the truth..he's my baby..he's my boyfriend..i do like him when i hold his hand..i do like him very much when i hug him..i do Love him when i kiss him..i AM his girlfriend..

1stly..i love him so much..why should i make distance between my baby and me?i love him so i want to be with him..so Do Not ask me to make some distance with ihm..

2ndly..Do Not ask me a stupid question "which one you want?God or your friend?"..because for God..i respect him even thought i don't really believe he exist since the accident which i don't really want to mention..because he's not my friend..he my guy,my baby..he's totally different from friend..

3rdly..i've been so tired of you guys saying different things at time..when there's no adults..you all kept asking me private things as you all saying that friends shouldn't have secrets..if i don't say..you'll say that i'm not your friend..if i said..you'll tell others and spread it to whole world..it's ok for me without you this kind of friend..all right?and when there's adults..you all never stand at my side talk for me and spread nonsense to make the adults (whatever he/she is) misunderstanding..it's really fucking piss me off..

4thly..i mean it when i say something with serious tone..so don't take it as joke and making fun of it..i will be really piss off..i can respect you with everything i can do..but i also can destroy you with everything i can do..and i mean it..if you want my respect you should respect yourself and also respect me when i respect you..if you don't respect yourseld..if you don't respect me when i respect you..then i will never ever respect you again and i can insult you destroy you in many ways..and i Do mean it..

5thly..i smile and i laugh all the time..but that doesn't mean i won't cry and get angry..i've been kind to everyone all the time..but that doesn't mean i won't be cruel to someone who against me..i always put others before myself as what my baby and brother said..but that doesn't mean i won't do anything if you disrespect me..

I don't want people ask me about my personal stuffs and private stuffs..if you asked and i said no..please stop asking..or else you will get it from me..

I am open minded..but sometimes i just not that open..so when i ask you to stop your nonsense in a calm tone..please stop before the violent Bevawa wake up..

You can make fun of me..but if you went over-board..don't expect you can live in peace in the next day..or maybe in the rest of your life..

When i ask for silent in a kind tone..you better be silent if you don't want me to shout..if you still so noise when i shout..well..the next minute you will be very "silent"..people around you might not know you were exist as you are so "silent" till can't hear the breathing..

I will still laughing and smiling around even if i feeling stress or i don't like it..but if i said stop it..please better stop..or else i don't really know what i will do next when i lost control..no matter who you are..

Last but not least..I MISS YOU BABY!!CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO START!!.ARGH!!