ha!!

Got a new god brother again..ahahas..he bought a new shirt for me yesterday as my birthday present..muahahaha..so good to have a brother like him..^^..

I've been so crazy these few weeks..(three weeks plus)..hmm..first of all..everyone who close to me should know that i'm kind of person who doesn't know how to say NO..so when my church-mate give me some works..i will say ok ok and finish it on time..school homework i always finish in school during recess or some boring lessons..i really tired as i only slept for one or two hours per day..so i totally sleep less than ten hours per WEEK!!..FUCKING HELL!!!!..i just couldn't sleep at all..my mind full of nonsense and stupid stuffs..

Haiz..now..even i walking i also can feel sleepy..even i standing in the MRT train..i also can fall asleep fucking easy..this morning i just walking fast to the church from my house..and guess what??..i fall asleep and almost fall down..(sleep or faint i don't know la..i only know that i alsmost fall down)..stupid mi sia..><




P.S. damn it....

100%

20% of the air is oxygen

50% of the forest is trees

70% of the earth is water

90% of the love is tears

100% of my life is YOU

P.S. i miss you..once again..memories are back..

it's enough...

Well..i will be single for now..will start to have a new boyfriend on my birthday which is on 17th September..before my birthday come..i have to settle everything and relax a little..i feel too stress to think about relationship,church,school and family at the same time..since relationship is the main reason..then i will give up then..also give him sometimes to think..as long as he want since he said he need time to think..

I've said to him whatever i want to say..i think it's better for us to be friend and brother like we used to..we'll consider about this relationship again when he have think throught it and confirm with me one day..

Today i cried..everything just so pop out and so du lan..a super fucking best friend of mine in taiwan pass away because of the stupid fucking dumb typhoon..my mom is being crazy as she keep asking me to do ALL the housework every nights..she even wake me up to do the housework in the middle of the night..she never ask my sister to do..the reason is my sister is tired..WTH!!..my churchmates also pushing all the things to me..that really make me piss off..and finally i cried..well..crying like hell better than break down and be emo..right??

Dan..sorry to make you worry..i promise i won't do stupid stuffs to my body again..i promise i will be happy and smiling everything..i will try my best to smile even if it hurts..

Siti..thanks for being my listening ear..really thanks alot..

Crystal..thanks for being my listening ear and giving me lots of advice..

Mich..sorry i really piss off today..sorry for shouting at you..

Bil..i really never punch Siti!!..><..i don't beat girls..instead of beating or punching a girl i rather punching or beating a guy..because guy more strong..hahas..

Haraboy..congratulation..we've come to the end..we've been together for one month one week and one day..i will give you time to think..as long as you want..you can tell me your answer anytime..by then we'll consider about this relationship again..



P.S. daddy..i've let you down..please stop being so nice to me..please..don't make me feel more and more guilty..you're the best and perfect father..i've forgive you or your mistake..because i've done a biggest mistake..yet you still forgive me..daddy..i really miss you..please..don't be so nice to me..please take care..daddy please take good care of yourself..

tiring la!!!

Friday:
after school went home online awhile and doing the church stuffs..then went out to meet my mom at suntec city after took a bath..went to suntec buying something that my mom wanted to buy..after that walking to city hall took bus to yishun to had dinner..and walking around north point..fortunately never meet him..haha!!..when we reach home was about 11 something..then my mom asked me to wash plates,throw rubbish,wash the cloths,clean the floor,take hte clothes and other stuffs..i slept around 5.30am something..@@

Saturday:
woke up at 9.30am..only get to sleep for four hours..my mom brought my sister and i went to meet her friends at little india..we get to know this auntie name Lisa which same name with my mom..she bought a cake and comic book for my sister when she heard that Sunday is my sister's birthday..she treat us to eat ice cream at plaza singapura..around 4pm my mom brought us to Toa Pahyo then took bus 88 to her friend house-uncle Ben..his youngest daughter one year old birthday..i drank and eat there until about 9.30pm..then we took bus 109 to serangoon interchange..i kept telling my mom that take MRT fater..but she refused listen..we ended up reach home at 11.54pm as she wanted to take bus 100 from the interchange..her reason was because MRT station is too far..but actually quite near..
well..same thing..she asked me to do lots of things when we reach home..by the time i finish everything and finish shower..was already 3am plus..>^<

Sunday:
woke up at 6.30am..only get to sleep for about three hours..because today my sister and i got work to do during mass..so we have to wake up damn super early and go to church..phew~lucky my church near my house..hehe..because total only get to sleep for about seven hours..so i was slept in the church during mass..hahas..
today my sister's birthday..went to tiong bahru plaza after legion meeting..we had lunch there..then we head to west coast plaza to buy cake and shopping!!!..hahas..
however..all our friends are busy today and raining..can't get to meet my basket ball friends..so we are going to celebrate tomorrow night..if tomorrow night no raining..i might get to meet my basket ball friends and invite them to join the celebration i think..hehe..hope the unlucky god come tomorrow..hahas..long time never see him liao le..
hmm..there's so many people giving my sister hong bao..so many people care about my sister..so many people concern about her..and my mom spend so much money for her cake and lots of things..can see that how important my sister is..hehe..well..evil mi a little jealous actually..i understand..i'm older than my sister..i should be independence..i just hope that my mom could remember my birthday without anyone remind..



P.S. haraboy..tomorrow one last chance..i miss you by the way..

i will wait..

Heard from Haraboy's sister that her handphone no balance..Haraboy wanted to call me to give me the answer but his handphone got problem and so last night he never give me answer..i thought he don't want to give answer and so i silent break with him..haiz..

What a careless girlfriend i am..hmm..but i will wait..wait till monday..message cannot..call also cannot and face to face also pai seh..then write on the paper la..i told his sister to told Haraboy that write on paper..write everything he want to say to me then pass to me on monday..however i just consider myself as single lor..hehe..

Tonight will be a busy night..will be out to suntec city at 5pm..going to Yishun at 8pm..properly reach home at around 10 or 11something..argh!!..Basket Ball!!!!..




P.S. Haraboy..i really miss you..damn it..it seems that he's back to my mind again..

secret place

Today after school went to a place with mich..well..i can't say where it is as this is the seret place where only me and mich know..

Mich was crying infront of me because of the messages which sent by a bitch..i asked mich for the number and so i scolded and insulted the bitch throught sms..well..i just hope that she won't disturb mich anymore as i don't wish to see her cry again..

I was telling mich that i think instead of feeling confuse about the relationship between me and my boy..i rather choose to continute to be his brother..one month and four days together..we still 100% clean..well..it's good but i just feel that it's totally same as friend..so i told mich that if he stil don't give me answer today..i will take it as silent break and tomorrow onwards find a new boyfriend..either patch back with my ex or woo after my crush..hehehe..

I also message to my kor and bil about my decision..kor was keep saying "up to u"..well..i don't really get what he mean..

I sent bil 3 messages..1st one was about my number and my boy and i..2nd one was about my decision after i break with my boy and 3rd one was telling him who are my crush..he didn't reply after i sent the 2nd and 3rd messages..i thought he was angry for the 3rd messages..so i message him saying sorry and hope he won't angry at me..hahas..guess what?..he didn't receive the 2nd and 3rd messages..phew~lucky..because i can't imagine my life if he angry at me..

Well..what to do since i put my friends and brothers before me..no one can insult and bully my friends and my brothers without my permission..that's my bad habit..LOL..



P.S. Haraboy..i'm serious to u..serious about 20-30% in the begginning..but now i don't know..i just hope that i haven't serious to u 100% as i don't want to get hurt anymore..so i think it's better to end it and be brother again before it becomes 100%..

LoL..just another day..

Sunday:
Went down played basket ball with my sister and her friend..met this guy accidentally..he's such a cute and funny guy..LoL
I invited him to join us for games..he joined us of course..LoL..then his friend came to join us too..his other friends came to the basket ball court after my sister's friend left..and so my sister and i played with those guys..
They asked me for number before i left..and so i did give them..making new friends mahss..well..i'm not flirting but making new friends..i'm fairthful to my boy de wor..hehe..

Monday:
Went down played basket ball with them again..hahas..what a funny guy he is..LoL..well..everything just same as Sunday..we played basket ball..but the only thing different is that my sister never join us..@@..

Today:
Plan to go down at 5.30..however i was playing online game until about six o'clock..haiz..then now lazy to go down..hmm..maybe later go down roller blade..=D..right now have to wait for my mom's friend to come to my house to use the computer to do stuffs..sian dao~~~...

Well..school life??..hahas..basically just as usual..took 51 bus wondering if can meet mich on the bus..however she missed the bus..T^T..

Was thinking that the Maths test would be difficult..and so i lazy to study..wodering if i could fail..LOL..but!!..the paper quite easy actually..i will pass i think..hahas..Didn't pay much attention during english actually..was passing paper with Dan..hahas..Kuih Lapis!!!..xD..Chemistry test on thursday..bringing text book home..i hope i could spend sometimes to study..because i think i would do well for the test IF i have study..however..the fact is that i LAZY to study..LoL..Finally i brought Geography text book..LOL...ahhas..should i organize a party to celebrate??!!..lol..and ART quite boring today as we draw for three periods..(test mahss)..

Everything just fine today..but Nab is drving me crazy as in hes making me angry..went to detention area to find him to pass him english and chemistry notes..he wasn't there..wondering if he's in the canteen..Sab suddenly told me that Nab is at the general office..oh..i only realize he's there when he told me where Nab is..LoL..was going to forget him de sey..i rushed down to find him the minute i heard that Nab was sick..i asked Mrs Koh if Nab really sick..so she brought me to see Nab..i passed the notes to Nab and scolded him for not taking care of himself..haiz..

Nab went up to detention area when he feel a little better..and i scolded him again.."feeling a 'little' better only..should rest more larhh..if not later get worst!!!" i said..but he just don't care..haiz..just hope that he's fine..so i won't get more and more worried..



P.S. Nab,MUST take care of urself okay??..don't come to school and rest at home if u are not feeling well..okay??..please stop making me worried..i've told u many times must take care of urself..if not..u know what i gonna do right??..

P.S. Haraboy..i miss you once again..haiz..why are we still behaving like a friend??..one month already but no different from friend..i'm tired of this..please don't confuse me..if u treat me like a friend please just be my friend..if u treat me more like a friend..then please..show me ur action..

drawings..=D

the fox drawing above is drawn by me..

i was so angry and so i draw this whatever fox..LoL..

done by Aung last year..

hehe..love this emo drawing lots..

drawn by Kiwi recently..
Lwin Phone & Nigel Ang
Haraboy & Wawagirl
Holdpuncher & Kiwi
hehehe..
well..Phone and Nigel are best friend only..
Haraboy and me,Kiwi and holdpuncher are couples..
LoL..love this drawing lotss too..thanks ar Kiwi..
but..Haraboy is black skin de..>//<..



P.S. Haraboy..i miss you..can't wait for monday..

@@

Well..almost late for school today..as usual..lo0king at my boy..>v<..oh~i should explain about yesterday..hahas..

heard from Mich something about that bastard..i was kind of shocked..but then after a thought..i think it's good wan..hahas..it didn't affect me that much..but Mich keep thinking that i will be emo and cut myself..LoL..don't worry Mich..i won't cut myself as i have my boy..=D

Finally get rid of him from my mind yesterday..however Chua messaged me..we had a conversation throught sms and so on..and so and that's why we have a deal..hahas..waiting for ur prove ar Chua!!!..

Yesterday..after hearing the something from Mich..my mind just get rid of him..however..now is my boys turn to stay in my mind..>v<..

Don't really want to come to school today..because of POA test..but if i don't go..i can't meet my boy..then i will be very sad..

Hahas..i love the place we sit today..i can keep looking at my boy without teacher notice..hahas..i think boy really tired as he slept in class today..hehe..

Today CEd stil teaching about "sex"..LoL..must she write the name start with J??..haiz..but the most funniest thing is that fish has ruin J's impression in my heart..LOL..Chua,Cary and Kiwi were trying to call my name so that i could be volunteer to act..hahas..but Chua kena during the second activity..oh..STI!!!!..LoL..

English lesson didn't pay much attention as teacher only told us the tips to score mark for oral exam..i was kept looking at my boy and thinking of something else..oii oii..not dirty things ar..lol..was thinking what i going to do if i go back to Taiwan..

POA test..i anyhow do..all my answers are wrong i know that..because i really felt sleepy the minute i got the paper..LoL..fortunately..can have a rest..@@..

PE lesson was fun..was playing badminton with Minimouse,Chua,XY and Ziq..LoL..Ziq is so funny..even thought he only joined us for few minutes..><..that bastard la..come up to hall for what?!!..cannot see Ziq was playing wiht us ar..called him for what..haiyoyo..

During Chinese..teacher used the first period to teach us what to do..and second lesson we start to do the letter writing..well..i ACCDENTALLY finish in about ten minutes..then Teacher gave me homework..and ONCE AGAIN i ACCDENTALLY finish in about five minutes..so i fall asleep..hahas..

After school i rushed to West Coast Plaza to change my clothes..planed to go to find my mom..because i need to extend my passport..haiz..if not i have to go back to Taiwan to extend or no need to come back..however she last minute told me change another day as she's busy today..WA LAO!!!..never mind..i forgive her..

Nab called me when i was waiting for bus..he said he was around Clementi West..i wanted to meet him..but he said he only stay for a few minutes..haiz..therefore i go home..and so right now i'm at home..

Oh my God!!..i'm at home!!..LOL..



P.S. boy..i miss you..i love you..i don't mind what others think..i just want to be your girl..not forever..but as long as we're together..=)

giving up??

Giving up??oh yes..still trying to giving up somebody in my heart..i've try my best to forget about the somebody but it seem doesn't work..

Wrote the memories on papers and tear it again and again..papers so easy to tear however the memories still in my mind..so difficult to forget..

Deleted his number and save it again and again..number is so easy to delete and save..but those memories..difficult..really difficult to delete from my mind..

Found a boyfriend..wondering if he could help me to forget about him..however i still treating him like a friend..even thought i do have feeling for him..but the feeling isn't strong enough for me to forget about him..

It's really hurts..wondering does it help to forget about him if i give up my life..he won't care anymore..isn't it...

Giving up??my life??oh yes..trying to do the last step..if it still doesn't work..i think i have to give up..i don't want to waste my whole life to love him..love someone who used to loved me so much and yet hurt me the most too..



P.S. still forcing myself to smile even thought it hurts......

busy sunday..

Yesterday morning went to church attend legion meeting..after the meeting rushing to another church at City Hall attend meeting..sia la..lost my voice..so Mag have to read everything..LoL..sorry Mag..

After the meeting i went home put all my stuffs down and mom brought me out for lunch..then we went home i helped her do her work for church..@@..

At night went to my mom's boss' son's cousin's wedding..most of them are indian and malay..so many kids there also..i was so happy hahas..however the bosses of my mom couldn't regconise me when i was saying hello to them..LoL..heard that there's another wedding on November..is my mom's boss' son's wedding..hehe..his girlfriend is so pretty..argh~how i wish i could get married soon..haha..LoL..




P.S. i did smile at all time even thought it hurts..

wth..

I really feel heart broken..all the memories just come out so easily..i really regret to break..how i wish i don't be so thick skin to say "I love U" when he ask for break..i want him back..i really want him back to my side..i want to stay under his protection again..really want to be his one and only baby girl again..damn it..but it's too late and useless to regret isn't it?

I'm so sad..i jsut can't stop crying after i lose him..i just can't get rid of him from my mind..how i wish those memories are beautiful dreams and stupid imaginations..it's so hard for me to forget even thought i kept telling myself that those memories aren't true..i delete his number and save his number again and again..how i wish i could kena car accident and lost the memories..

Right now..i'm willing to do anything as long as i could forget about him since he will never ever come back to my side..

Every night walking around tanglin halt..wondering if i could accidentally meet him..but God disappointed me again and again..

I seriously love him damn much..i don't know how much i love h im..the only thing i know is that he's controllling my feeling,my mind,my thought,my mood and everything..i pray so hard that he won't come to school everyday..but i feel sad and worry when he didn't turn up in school..i want to see him everyday..however i kept lying to myself that i hate him i don't want to see him..i pretend to be happy when i heard he got a new girlfriend..but deep in my heart really hurts..

I really can't take it anymore..it's hurts..it really hurts me alots..

I really don'y know what to do..what i can do is to cry alone and force myself to smile when there's people around even thought it really hurts so much..



P.S. boy..you're hurting me..do you know that????

tell me..

Tell me those memories aren't real..

Tell me you never love me..

Tell me those sweet memories are dreams..

Tell me you don't love at all..

Tell me better give up on you..

Tell me..please..tell me..

HAIR Q!!!!

losing my voice soon..T^T..

P.S. i'm missing somebody that i shouldn't miss..and i miss my boy too..i am confusing..and i need him to stay by my side now...gona sleep..good night..have a nice weekend..

well..i cried infront of ppl..

Today..went out with Mich n her boi..i cried infront of her..because of something..



simple...




P.S. i really have nothing to say....

m(_ _)m *bow n give up*

If he like me as a friend only..if he still have no feeling for me..please let us be friend instead of boyfriend and girlfriend..i want him to reply SOON!!!

I have to wait for another day if he never reply today..then the only thing i have to do is wait wait wait and wait..=(

I don't want to force him to like me..i don't expect him to treat me as girlfriend..but since there's nothing else to talk about when we stead..then i think it's better for us to be friend..

If he really like me..he should do something..he should make the first move..but then i know that he stead with me is not because he like me..so since he have no feeling for me..i should end it early and be friend before its too late..

He's a good brother and good friend..i don't want we end up enermy or stranger like my previous relationship (the S couple)..

The distance between friend with friend is good enough for me..at least i could touch his shouder and talk to him normally if we are friend..but now we just like.....argh!!..the word can describe is.."SLOW"..

Haiz..i do serious to this relationship..because i want to give myself a chance..i do like him..i do have feeling for him..like i said..we only stead for two weeks plus..i'm still not sure i like or i love him..have to wait till one month together..but if i found out that i love him but then he still have no feeling for me..i will be hurt again..and i don't think i will acept another relationship again..



P.S. Haraboy..i miss you right now..i do serious to u and i do have feeling for you..however i don't dare to love you till our one month together..because i scare i might get hurt again..please reply me as soon as possible can?..please stop saying,"i don't know"..if you really have no feeling..just say ok..if you do have feeling..please also tell me and promise me don't hurt me..ok..

so sian..

well..recently..night walk alone everyday..hmm..yesterday was with my mom and my sister..honestly..they're quite lame and boring..kept making me angry..so irritating..i have nothing to say about my lame weekend..@@..


P.S. being brothers are always better than being boyfriend and girlfriend..