wth..

I really feel heart broken..all the memories just come out so easily..i really regret to break..how i wish i don't be so thick skin to say "I love U" when he ask for break..i want him back..i really want him back to my side..i want to stay under his protection again..really want to be his one and only baby girl again..damn it..but it's too late and useless to regret isn't it?

I'm so sad..i jsut can't stop crying after i lose him..i just can't get rid of him from my mind..how i wish those memories are beautiful dreams and stupid imaginations..it's so hard for me to forget even thought i kept telling myself that those memories aren't true..i delete his number and save his number again and again..how i wish i could kena car accident and lost the memories..

Right now..i'm willing to do anything as long as i could forget about him since he will never ever come back to my side..

Every night walking around tanglin halt..wondering if i could accidentally meet him..but God disappointed me again and again..

I seriously love him damn much..i don't know how much i love h im..the only thing i know is that he's controllling my feeling,my mind,my thought,my mood and everything..i pray so hard that he won't come to school everyday..but i feel sad and worry when he didn't turn up in school..i want to see him everyday..however i kept lying to myself that i hate him i don't want to see him..i pretend to be happy when i heard he got a new girlfriend..but deep in my heart really hurts..

I really can't take it anymore..it's hurts..it really hurts me alots..

I really don'y know what to do..what i can do is to cry alone and force myself to smile when there's people around even thought it really hurts so much..



P.S. boy..you're hurting me..do you know that????