cried....

Today recess i talked to mdm ow..i told her about what had happened to my taiwan friends..and my father called me when he knew how i felt..i was so happy to heard his voice again..his voice doesn't change actually..but i did cried too as i am soo worry about my friend..i cried infront of mdm ow..and she lent me her shoulder to cry on..hope her shirt won't get wet anyway..

I almost going to cry before i using the computer just now..as Crystal know something important about me and my ex..

I thought i have no feeling for him anymore since i'm TRYING to have a crush on somebody..but when Crystal asked me if i still love him and want him back..i silent awhile and asking myself if i still love him..oh yes i do still love him..but what can i do since he don't have feeling for me anymore?or maybe just say he doesn't love me at all..what for i want him back since he never ever trust me at all?

Between my ex and i..there's a fact..the fact is that i DO still love him..but he don't love me anymore..

I've tried to have crush on somebody in order to force myself to get rid of him from my mind..but i just can't do it..

Therefore..i decided to stop to get into any relationship now and future..i want to live the rest of my life myself..

But can i be a little selfish?..i would want to keep the feeling deep in my heart forever...