in the process of..

I'm in the process of quit smoking..few days never smoke..does really feel unwell and lost of control..as in a way that i gone crazy..i just get excited and happy suddenly..but when i calm down i relize how tired am i after being "crazy"..

LoL..it's really quite tiring when i keep laughing..even thought i feel sad whenever i think about my friends..i laugh when i happy..i laugh when i sad..i laugh when i angry..trying to cover the dark side of me..it's really super tired..

I'm in the process of going throught some problems..it's two weeks plus already..but i still cannot gte rid of this accident from my mind..i always dream about the past with all my friends every nights..i can't stop thinking about their laughter,voice and everything..they are so important to me that i still can't accept the fact..

I drew a pic..a girl which is me..was smiling but tears dropping while looking at the broken cross under the eclipse..cross will never break..ya..it's true..but my heart can break..isn't it..

I am angry with my life as i've made a lot of wrong choices and done a lot of wrong things..

I am happy with my life as i've met true friends and we're so important to each other..

I am feeling sad with my life as i couldn't protect anyone who is important to me..

I feel guilty with my life as i didn't treasure myself that much..i always put others before me..my life isn't important at all..the world will still running even if i die..

Well..what can i do even thought i know all these things?..i can't change isn't it..i am who i am..i can't change..what's done has done..no one can change it..


P.S. haraboy..i miss you again..